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Archive:Jauren:White Kittens and Kabobs
Chapter I Sadrian eyed the Sin'dorei standing before her skeptically. Her arms were crossed and her brows raised; truly he was kidding? There was no way... "Yes my dear, you heard correctly," the man said, grinning like a small child. She hated him. He was too friendly. Up to no good. "... you want a cat." "Not just one cat, love, as many as you can handle. A few bags full, if you wouldn't mind." He was trying so hard to not laugh. "Why not get your own damn cats?" Even though she'd be coming out several gold ahead, she was defiant. What a stupid request. Just stupid. "You think I could just sneak over and make a deal with the woman? She is quite nuts. The last time I approached her, she threw three cats at me and called me a leper Gnome." The man huffed at the memory. "I know you would have better luck, you always do." Sadrian gave him a crooked smile and it was obvious she was not accustomed to it. "Cats. Alright." "Alive..." "Healthy cats. Fine." "Ah, my dear, I am glad we have a deal. I will see you again soon, no?" He blew her a kiss, knowing it pissed her off to no end. She wondered how effective throwing cats actually was as she watched him saunter off. ... A few hours later, the druid weaved in and out of the Stormwind crowds with a scowl of disgust. She hated a lot of things. A lot. Most things. She hated everything. Most of all she hated crowds. She took out her frustrations on whatever shoulder she could shove and knee she could catch. Much better... Unfortunately, she was burdened with three sacks of kittens. It was quite awful, every bit as stupid (stupid!) as she had imagined it would be. Who needs this many kittens? She swore under her breath as one tumbled out and was promptly trampled. She paused... should she put it back in the bag and chance getting at least a bit of compensation for it?... Before she had a chance to make up her mind, a small girl ran by and scooped the dead cat into her arms. The urchin looked Sadrian up and down, gave her the finger, and promptly ran off with the corpse. Oh how she hated this city... Chapter II Thirteen... fourteen... fifteen... fifteen and a half... -- wait, what? Jauren stared at the top half of what was probably an orange kitten. He spotted a tiny black leg at the bottom of the sack, as well, and decided to not even bother with it. After a long, long while he looked up and proceeded to then stare at Sadrian herself. Finally, an eternity later, he spoke. "My girl... what happened? Did you get hungry? Drop it off a cliff or something?..." Sadrian shrugged flippantly. "Don't remember." He exhaled slowly before nodding. There were still an adequate number of cats left, though some were iffy. "Alright, I suppose this will do. I appreciate your help greatly." He counted out a handful of gold coins into a drawstring back and handed it to the druid. Sadrian nodded, taking the bag of coins without bothering to count them. He raised his eyebrow, but did not question her. Jauren really did not want to know what went on in her head. "Are you looking for more work, by chance? I've another errand for you, though it is much less obnoxious I think..." He grinned, awaiting with little doubt the positive response. Chapter III Yes, this was much easier. No less stupid, but easier. However, she was running into problems... Kendor had never liked Sadrian much. That's right, she was enemies with a chef. How... terrifying. She rolled her eyes at the thought as she approached the man in the Pig & Whistle. As much as she wanted to slit his throat (or worse...), this was business and she would have to settle her score later. "Ah, if it isn't my favorite customer! My my my, I thought I would never see that lovely face again. This must be my lucky night." Kendor grinned darkly. Just kill him and be done with it. How easy it would be... Later. Sadrian scowled. She was never one for hiding her contempt and one could assume this is why she had so few friends. "I need some of your recipes. I will pay well." Kendor blinked at her before erupting in laughter. "My recipes? Surely you are kidding, stupid girl!" Her only response was to lick her teeth and stare him down. He continued, his amazement blinding him to the danger he was in. "Absolutely not! I can not just sell off my recipes to anyone who just wanders in. However would I stay in business? Ridiculous!" She nodded as Kendor spoke. Once he finished his tirade, she promptly kneed the man in the stomach with every bit of energy she could muster. --- This was most unfortunate. Sadrian was not a subtle woman. While it mostly suited her just fine, she was now face-to-face with a unique problem. Kendor lay on the ground unconscious, blood trickling slowly from a minor head wound. She was not worried about the man in the least. He would awake in time, healthy even if angrier than a worg. However, she was on a strict time limit. The fancy Elf expected her back already, and she had wasted much of her time making Kendor regret being difficult. However, Sadrian was a chef herself. She was not of Kendor's caliber, but surely she could guess his recipes?... She quickly stashed him in the basement, thankful the bar was conveniently empty. As she dropped him in a corner, she noticed the shelf of spices and mix-ins... Ah, this won't be at all hard! Chapter IV Once more, Jauren was stunned. He moved his mouth as he tried to find something, anything, to say to the druid. "There is absolutely no way this is correct." The woman didn't meet his gaze, instead choosing to clean the blood from under her fingernails with a small knife. Jauren sighed. "... four cups of salt water... six cups of diced potatoes... half of a mageroyal plant..." He blinked suddenly in realization. "There isn't any meat in this one!" She rolled her eyes. "It has murloc eye." "... that doesn't even count." "No?" "No." ' ' "You're too picky. Tell the Orcs to get over it." Jauren scratched at his stubble, debating. "No, no. Go back and get the damned recipes. I'm not paying you for this sh!t and I might even make you pay. ... Pardon the cliche. Tch." Sadrian glared at him before sighing. She barked out a harsh word or two and before he could express his dissatisfaction further, she managed to vanish into the shadows of Booty Bay. He shook his head and hoped she would indeed honor their deal. Category:Archived Stories Category:Archived